Bum Simulator


Bum Simulator is a Steam title currently in beta that's planned for Early Access on August 26th. (it may even be on Early Access by the time of publication.) I was fortunate to get a review code for the game,  courtesy of David Cameron of OneIpGaming UK. Also, special thanks to Ragged Games, and PlayWay S.A.for providing David Cameron with a review code to provide to me for without the three of you, this review wouldn't be possible. It will cost $17.99, but is the game worth that price? Also, is the game itself good, bad, or somewhere in-between? Let's find out.


There actually is a Story to this game. You play as a nameless bum, who had half of his brain stolen by the EvilWay Corporation, and were being beaten up by The Bugs, a hoodlum gang that is the rivals of the gag you're in - The Creeps. Assisting you is a cast of characters such as various RIch Men, mission givers, a Pidgeon Lady, a Bugs member spying for your side, etc. Other characters include various citizens (both male and female, causal and Rich), and Police Officers who know how to use batons and tasers to subdue you into unconsciousness. Basically, rescue the pigeons, stop the gang war, become a legend, and restore Carl the Shopping cart to his true form, all as a 1st-person bum. How long it takes you to do so is generally up to you, as there appears to be no time limit (as far as days to complete the game is concerned) to save the pigeons, end the gang war, become an urban legend of a bum, etc. With all of that said, however, how's the actual gameplay?


You play in the suburbs as a Bum type of character. According to the game's official Steam page, "You  live on the streets of Bumsville. Do you have what it takes to adapt, survive and become an urban legend?" That's literally the whole of the story of the game: Becoming a legend amongst the citizens of Bumsville. The area is a wide-open Sandbox-type of game.Sorta similar to Grand Theft Auto V, or Red Dead Redemption 2, According to the official Steam Page - again - the following list is a list of things you can do in the game, including, but not necessarily limited to, the following:

Weaponize the pigeons, Learn the secrets of Alcohol Alchemy, Build your own cardboard house, Talk with your shopping cart friend, Solve the mystery of sewer rat people, ...and much more! In terms of Bumsville itself there are Dirty alleys, city streets, pawnshops, a central park, and underground passages. You can go wherever you want and whenever you like. And On your way, you will meet many unusual characters with personal storylines and quests. There's no place for boredom in bum's life!
Now, that's certainly a lot to do within the day-to-day life cycle of Bumsville. But the best part of it all? It's all done in a First-Person Perspective. How cool is that?! You do EVERYTHING in a first-person perspective in this game, from kicking trash cans, to eating rotten food. From beating up the Bugs (as a Bum whose Brain was half-stolen by the EvilWay Corporation, as elaborated on in the Story section.)

The games timed missions such as urinating on Rich guys in fancy suits (10 of them, in 3 minutes, with no known chance to redo the quest if you fail, which is very likely) The training quest with the Pidgeon Shuriken is where I'm at. As far as I know, the game does get better with time, as you can build cardboard castles, pigeon stands, customize and upgrade your pigeon and yourself respectively, etc. Basically, you do lawless actions and petty actions for a "noble" cause, kinda like Grand Theft Auto V, only with more urination and vulgarness. A stretch of a comparison, I know, but it's the truth. 

You earn perk points by filling up a gauge via beating up thugs, doing missions, etc. You can level up either your Survival, Resources, Base-Building, or Combat proficiencies via these points. You're gonna need it.


Technical issues or glitches in games are nothing new, and have become a sad part of many a triple AAA game (Cyberpunk 2077). Surprisingly, this game has had no glitches as of yet, but on my MSI Dragon  Gaming Laptop - which I've owned for nearly 4 years now - I have experienced a few FPS drops into the 20s or so, and even a few freezes and pauses. Adding onto the issues, Loading the title screen took a good minute or two, and the game itself took about 3 to 4 minutes to load! In that time, anyone could go make a sandwich for lunch and eat it in the time it'd take for the game to load. I suppose the age of my laptop and its' 8 GB of RAM being less than the recommended 16GB of Ram needed for optimal performance played a role in the somewhat-frequent lag. Still, it ran good enough for review purposes, so it did its job effectively.


This game - Bum Simulator - evoked an excited, purely happy, and joyful response out of me that I haven't felt ever since playing and being partially bummed and disappointed by Cyberpunk 2077. For the first  half-hour or so, I was happy and positive about this game as if I was a kid again.
As for the second half-hour + extra minutes, it was a little cumbersome, and tedious, but still fun. There's so much more to experience that I want you to discover for yourself, so play this game ASAP, but be mindful of the vulgarness if you're a teen or a parent with a kid! What I'm saying, in conclusion, is that Bum SImulator is a great game all-around,technical issues and potential controversies aside, of course.

FINAL SCORE: 4 - Great.

Bryan Applegate