OCG: Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls...

I am thee Obsessive Compulsive Gamer joined once again by my faithful manservant/factotum Bertrum. Say hello, Bertrum

Bertrum: Hello, Bertrum!

OCG: And this is my review for CAST OF THE SEVEN GODSENDS

CAST OF THE SEVEN GODSENDS REDUX originally released for the playstation 4 back in 2016. A year I remember fondly as the year I smuggled a priceless piece of art back from Paris in a condom rammed up my jacksie for the first time

So, what the Hell is CAST OF THE SEVEN GODSENDS? I am so glad you asked, dear viewer

Bertrum: I didn't hear anything 

OCG: Shut up, Bertrum! CAST OF THE SEVEN GODSENDS is a 2d action adventure run and gun arcade platformer...thing

So, story. The princess of the kingdom is kidnapped by a villainous tosser and since Super Mario is unavailable, our character whateverhisnameis must save the princess and ultimately save the kingdom from the villainous tosser

So, gameplay. You'll run, platform and attack your way through six levels collecting power ups, armour...

Bertrum: Snacks?

OCG: No. You don't collect snacks

Bertrum: No. Do we have any snacks?

OCG: You're always thinking with your bloody stomach, Bertrum

Bertrum: That's not possible. You can't think with your stomach. Unless your brain is in your stomach which it is not

OCG: I know. I know. It's an expression, Bertrum

Bertrum: You didn't answer my question. Do we have any snacks?

OCG: I might have half a milky bar in my underpants

Bertrum: Ummm...Why is it in your underpants?

OCG: It comforts me

Bertrum: Ummm...Okay. Can I have some?

OCG: Fine. Just reach in and take it

Bertrum: Ummm...What?

OCG: I'm a little busy here playing this damned game. So if you want chocolate you'll have to reach into my underpants and take it

Bertrum: Ummm...Okay

OCG: A little to the left. No, the other left! Move your hand 90 degrees

Bertrum: Got it!

OCG: Bully for you. Now eat your chocolate and let me get on with this review. What the Hell was I saying? Oh yes! 6 levels, kill enemies, platform blah blah blah. This game is basically GHOSTS N GOBLINS or GHOULS N GHOSTS...Whatever the Hell it's called

Bertrum: Actually, those are both correct

OCG: I knew it! I'm a genius

Bertrum: Didn't you once try to remove your finger prints by sticking your fingers in a wall socket?

OCG: I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids

Bertrum: Actually you would have gotten away with it if you hadn't electrocuted yourself and ended up in the hospital for 37 days

OCG: Quite. Speaking of GHOSTS N GOBLINS, this game is harder than the tin man watching Dorothy pole dance

Bertrum: But didn't you play on the easy mode?

OCG: Shut up, Bertrum! So what else can I tell you about the game? Oh yes!There are 12 boss fights in total and several different endings to unlock

So, in conclusion if you enjoy games like GHOSTS N GOBLINS then I'm sure you'll enjoy this little game. Take my advice though and play like I did on the easy difficulty

Bertrum: I knew it!

OCG: Shut up, Bertrum! Therefore I am going to score CAST OF THE SEVEN GODSENDS REDUX a 4 out of 5!.

Bertrum, I thought you took the chocolate out of my underpants?

Bertrum: I did. It was tasty

OCG: Then why have I found the half eaten milky bar exactly where I left it? Oh no!

Bertrum: Oh no!

OCG: I feel sick